Failing My Children - Warning: Spoilers Inside

The first incident involved a newly lost tooth of the 7 year old. It came out on her way to bed Easter night and she dutifully placed it under her pillow. When we woke up, she said that the tooth fairy hadn't come. Feeling guilty, I suggested that she try again the next night. In the mean time, the 7 year old lodged the same complaint with Dad. He told her that the tooth fairy takes holidays off. This wasn't the first time we failed in this arena but we covered it up in the past with a slight-of-hand, "how could you have missed this, you dumb kid?" action. By 8AM she was back complaining to me, again. Now, understand that this is a bright child who questions everything. She has been adamant that she doesn't believe God for about 3 years. So, to save my own sanity, I ask her if she believes in the tooth fairy. She says no with a smirk. So, I forked over the quarter and told her she better not tell the little ones.

The next disappointment came with the 4 year old. Several times on Easter, she had alluded to the fact that the bunny didn't seem very plausible. Come on, did you ever really buy that one? Then on Monday she told me that I was the bunny. I asked her why she thought that, unsure whether the path of honesty was better then an enchanted childhood. She told me that the leftover candy was in the pantry. So, I confessed and told her she better not tell the little one.

Then back to the 7 year old. Today was spring pictures at school. I had already explained that we weren't getting them because the packages are generally tiny and expensive. With the exception of the very first time I took the oldest for portraits, I've never paid more that $10 and I've been thrilled with the results for the price. Plus, spring pictures? What's with that scam? So she asked me last night what she should wear. How horrible is it that she went off with a shirt with a small hole in it and in dire need of a haircut?

The 9 year old has spring pictures tomorrow. I don't care about his or want to buy them either. Every kid sits. They print photos of every child and then send them home so the parents can decide if they will buy them - after the kid has already seen them. Maybe I'll return them in person to spare my children that shame and let them know what I think about their pictures. We already bought their pictures in the fall.

The 9 year old also informed me that perhaps he would like to be homeschooled. His reasons:

1. "Everything would be more at my level. I'm kind of too smart for 4th grade but not smart enough for 5th." This was fueled by the transfer of one boy from grade 4 to 5 early in the year. He's just cute. He's getting A's in everything, including 5th grade accelerated math. I'm sure he's smart enough.

2. You shouldn't have to change your personality to fit in.

3. He hates the bus.

The baby doesn't talk enough to let me know that I display sub-par parenting. However, I think he took issue with the door. Here's the stopper.

Here's his tool.

Here's the damage.

I'm hoping this was just boredom.