A Wise Woman Once Said...

Dana's Wise Mother
From: Dana in OKC

My mom was very creative with us when we were young, and she knew how to bust our boredom. Let me rifle through the file cabinet in my brain and see what I can recall...

Year-round we had to "lease" the TV knob (remember knobs? This was before remote controls) from her by maintaining our chores as well as "other duties as assigned" (which could be anything from read a particular book she thought was useful, to mowing the neighbor's yard). We could watch television just about any time we wanted to, when we had the "currency" to "lease" the knob for a specified amount of time. It was all spelled out and was just the way our hose worked.

We were fined for saying the words "I'm bored". Mom kept a "help wanted" bulletin board in the laundry room. She wrote down things that needed to be done and we could choose a job off the board if we wanted to earn some extra money or a certain privilege. Every time "I'm bored" came out of my mouth, she would silently walk to the board, stand in front of it as though in deep contemplation, and ceremoniously hand me a card off the board. The job listed on the card had to be completed, to HER satisfaction and with NO compensation (monetary or otherwise). All other options for activities were suspended until the job card was turned in and the job was inspected. In other words, I couldn't just say, "Oh, sorry Mom! I didn't mean it. I think I'll go practice piano or read a book or call a friend or roller skate or try out a new hairstyle or sit on my bed and gaze at my navel..." The only two options at that point were do the job or sit and stare into blank space. She never raised so much as an eyebrow. That was just how it was. If I wanted to read or use the phone or sunbathe, I had to do the job first.

I am pretty stubborn, and once I sat on a job for two days. I was not even allowed to eat because I hadn't completed my job. I got water and had bathroom access (for the call of nature only...no baths or showers). I didn't dare say anything negative, because I knew I'd just get another card, but I thought she'd at least have to feed me. She just cheerfully said, "If a man does not work, neither shall he eat" (2 Thes. 3:10). "As soon as you finish that job, I hope you'll join us at the table. See you then, Honey!" Well, needless to say, I broke down and did the hateful job (weed the front flower bed) and I was never so happy to see a bowl of Cheerios in my entire life. I believe that was also the last time I ever said, "I'm bored!"

I also remember that Mom encouraged us to make short-term service commitments in the summer. She would help us find different opportunities, some to earn money, some just as pure service. I house-sat for a week when I was 15 (just went over every day to take in the paper and mail, let the dog out and so on), I baby sat, cleaned the church, sorted baby clothes at the Women's shelter and so on. Mom would suggest that we enlist a friend in our little service projects. That made it pretty fun. Most of the jobs were for a week or less, so I had a lot of different things to do in the summer.

Another fun part of summer was the day trips Mom would take us (and one friend apiece) on. We would get out a map and some travel brochures and take turns picking free or inexpensive places to go that were within a certain driving distance. We would usually pack our own food and head out early in the morning. We saw a lot of great stuff that was "right in our own backyard". It seems like we took about one of those a month (3 trips per summer).

Mom enjoyed writing and wanted us to, too, so she started "dialogue journals" with us. We each had our own spiral notebook. In it, she would write the date and ask a question such as, "What do you remember most about last Christmas?" Then we would write our answer. The answer had to be at least three paragraphs. We could also ask her questions if we wanted to, and she would answer them. Those journals are among my most cherished possessions today, and I carry on this tradition, and many others, with my own children.

Another summer writing project she gave us was to hand write a short note of encouragement to everyone on our family's Christmas card list. We might write one or two notes every day or so. It only took a few minutes. It seemed pretty lame at the time, but looking back, I see the value in it: thinking of others and how to encourage them, honing writing skills and developing personal discipline. She would look over the notes and comment on style and content. She would talk to us about the person we were writing to that day and give suggestions on what kinds of things to say. A lot of the people were older relatives that lived out of state. It was a good way to get to know some of our extended family. Many times we got notes back, and that was always exciting. And Mom made sure that we always answered our mail, so sometimes the correspondence could get quite long.

We also had a list of Summer Big Jobs, and on Saturdays in the summer, the whole family would devote 2 hours to a Summer Big Job. Some jobs were so big they took several Saturdays, and some didn't quite take the whole two hours, so we would get off easy. It was amazing what a whole family working together could acomplish in just two hours. I remember not minding it too much, because there was an end in sight. At the end of two hours we were done with the Big Job for the week.

And this brings us to the end of Boredom Busters, Volume I. I hope my little trip down memory lane sparks some ideas that will Bust Summer Boredom in your house.

Blessings!!

Wondering...

Why does the ice cream man only come by after you have just tucked the kids in?

Girl Power

I'm all for equality and believe that boys and girls are all capable of the same things. Sure, there tend to be stereotypical tendencies and preferences within a given gender but they can all accomplish the goals that they select.

Does anyone remember "Take Your Daughter to Work Day" on the 4th Thursday of April? When did it become "Take Your Child to Work Day"? Did some boy get hurt feelings? Surely there is a support group somewhere for him. What was wrong with having a day just for our daughters? After all, life isn't always about YOU. You don't give all your kids presents when one of them has a birthday, do you?

And what happened to Dora the Explorer? She was a great explorer. She was given a goal, broke it into 3 smaller steps, and celebrated with the "We Did It" song and dance after she completed her mission. With her sidekick, Boots the monkey, and her trusty backpack, she could accomplish anything. Enter Diego, her cousin. My assumption is that the marketing department felt that they were unable to capitalize on half of the preschool population before they added him to the show. But this action lost my significant purchase power because she was perfectly fine without her male counterpart. Boots was already a boy.

Coming soon: Parent's Day to replace Mother's Day and Father's Day - to be held the 4th Sunday of May, a day that will keep everybody happy.

Peek-A-Boo

What a gorgeous weekend! Mid to upper 70s. Not a cloud in the sky. We took advantage of the nice Spring to do some planting. I use the term we generously. Andy and the kids did all the work - selection, planting, watering. We had nothing near the pool until now. They did a great job!

Timothy is enjoying the back yard. It's all new to him.


I went outside, too, but I spent too much time in front of the computer. I'm 99% sure that we'll be homeschooling next year. In preparation, I've been pouring over curriculum choices and pulling pieces together so we can maximize our communal efforts. I've been synchronizing lists of reading books and history books and searching our library system. We'll be covering 1600-1850 so there are tons of books from which to choose and I have 3 very different reading levels. Thankfully the library is massive and I can find almost everything that I want. But it's fun, or I wouldn't have been holed up here in such nice weather.
Everyone is excited for Nana and Pop-pop to come for a visit in June. They are in luck... We have 4 ball games while they are here.

Failing My Children - Warning: Spoilers Inside

The first incident involved a newly lost tooth of the 7 year old. It came out on her way to bed Easter night and she dutifully placed it under her pillow. When we woke up, she said that the tooth fairy hadn't come. Feeling guilty, I suggested that she try again the next night. In the mean time, the 7 year old lodged the same complaint with Dad. He told her that the tooth fairy takes holidays off. This wasn't the first time we failed in this arena but we covered it up in the past with a slight-of-hand, "how could you have missed this, you dumb kid?" action. By 8AM she was back complaining to me, again. Now, understand that this is a bright child who questions everything. She has been adamant that she doesn't believe God for about 3 years. So, to save my own sanity, I ask her if she believes in the tooth fairy. She says no with a smirk. So, I forked over the quarter and told her she better not tell the little ones.

The next disappointment came with the 4 year old. Several times on Easter, she had alluded to the fact that the bunny didn't seem very plausible. Come on, did you ever really buy that one? Then on Monday she told me that I was the bunny. I asked her why she thought that, unsure whether the path of honesty was better then an enchanted childhood. She told me that the leftover candy was in the pantry. So, I confessed and told her she better not tell the little one.

Then back to the 7 year old. Today was spring pictures at school. I had already explained that we weren't getting them because the packages are generally tiny and expensive. With the exception of the very first time I took the oldest for portraits, I've never paid more that $10 and I've been thrilled with the results for the price. Plus, spring pictures? What's with that scam? So she asked me last night what she should wear. How horrible is it that she went off with a shirt with a small hole in it and in dire need of a haircut?

The 9 year old has spring pictures tomorrow. I don't care about his or want to buy them either. Every kid sits. They print photos of every child and then send them home so the parents can decide if they will buy them - after the kid has already seen them. Maybe I'll return them in person to spare my children that shame and let them know what I think about their pictures. We already bought their pictures in the fall.

The 9 year old also informed me that perhaps he would like to be homeschooled. His reasons:

1. "Everything would be more at my level. I'm kind of too smart for 4th grade but not smart enough for 5th." This was fueled by the transfer of one boy from grade 4 to 5 early in the year. He's just cute. He's getting A's in everything, including 5th grade accelerated math. I'm sure he's smart enough.

2. You shouldn't have to change your personality to fit in.

3. He hates the bus.

The baby doesn't talk enough to let me know that I display sub-par parenting. However, I think he took issue with the door. Here's the stopper.

Here's his tool.

Here's the damage.

I'm hoping this was just boredom.

Meteorology 101

I think I figured out the weather around here. I can now predict when we should be on alert. Whenever we have tornado watches, that's when conditions are right but not immediately threatening, the winds are always out of the east. At the same time, the thunderstorms are approaching from the west. Notice our neighbor's flags.

OK, that's a lot harder to see here than on my photo software. But, the lighter colored brick house on the left has flags blowing to the left. I didn't acquire this new-found knowledge until after our danger passed. I'll try to remember to take a better before picture next time.

Anyway, that makes sense. If the storms are moving to the east and the winds are coming from the east you can imagine how circular funnel clouds could develop.

Once the threat has diminished, the winds are out of the west. Here's a better picture of the same house with flags.

In Easter news, here's what has been happening. Aside from storms.

Megan is possessed by candy. Can you see the red eyes?

Easter grass on the floor. I HATE Easter grass. It gets everywhere. And you keep finding it until Memorial Day.

This is the girls' idea of cleaning the family room. Just throw it on the stair to the basement. No, they weren't drinking beer. Megan packed the box with her blanket and stuffed animals. I'm very thankful I saw that since it made locating the missing blanket much easier last night.

New Uses for Easter Bonnets

At last, no more wondering how the parkas look with the Easter dresses. And if you let the girls wear white shoes, even though it's before Memorial Day, will you lose them in the lingering snow? These are concerns to be left in the northeast. There will be no need to hide the cute light weight dress this year in Illinois. We've been in the mid to upper 80s for the last 3 days. The bulbs are up. Some have already gone. The trees are all in bloom. Our only hazard here will be more severe weather. So, our bonnets no longer need to resemble wool caps. Now they can be sun visors or rain hats.

My first friend turned 40 this week. And I have another hitting the big 4-0 in early May. These aren't acquaintances or the spouses of friends. I know lots of people in those categories who are already 40. These are people with whom I have spent considerable time. 40 doesn't feel very old but boy does it sound middle aged!

We got our first broken window this week. And none of our kids did it. Just ask them. And, we actually believe them. There is a hole suspiciously close to the size of a baseball in the outside pane of our double paned basement window. It somehow didn't go all the way through. Our kids seem to think that the likely suspect is the 9 year old who lives behind us. We have no proof and I'm sure this makes me a horrible person, but I want to go along with the kids on this one. The neighbor is a total pain in the butt. That's about the nicest thing I can think to say about her. So, more incentive to install the covers for the window wells. Let's hope that goes well. One of the directions says, and I quote, "Tap gently with sledge hammer."

Tim is a total ham. A few weeks ago he went to the doctor. She checked his eyes with one of those little lights. So, she held it up in front of her eye and faced him. My goofy kid thought he was having his picture taken. This is a more recent photo but the expression is the same.

And lastly, a few random pictures from the week:

Things I found in the washer or dryer this week. Yes, that's underwear. No, it doesn't belong to anyone in our house. No, we don't know who it belongs to. No, we have no idea how it got here.

Drew and Megan on a hike last weekend.

A rainbow across the street after a recent thunderstorm.

Brain Dead Before 40

When is it that we apply filters to our brains? Or is it that we just get dumber as we get older? Or is it that my almost 10 year old just has an exceptional memory?

Really, when I was his age, I think I remembered everything, too. Mostly statistics. But that's where my interests lay. And I remember wondering how my father could remember all this stuff from when he was 10 but he didn't know who won the World Series last year. Now I have become this puzzling man. I can still name the 1977 NY Yankees starting lineup (lot of help that is in the real world) but I no longer know who is currently in the AL East. Don't even get me started with the NFL and those new fangled South divisions. I humor myself by thinking that now I filter out the trivial to conserve space for the important.

My son remembers everything. Today we read a story about the medieval far east. I, with my archaic brain, misread a question and implied that China was introduced to books during this time. But the son says, "That's not right, Mom. They had books in China a long time before that. Remember when they tried to burn them." "Oh, yes. Like in the Magic Tree House book about the Dragon King," I reply. "Um-hum," says he.

This particular son loves history. He inevitably finds a program on TV that corresponds with something we have recently read. I don't point him in the right direction. In fact, I wish the TV would disappear permanently. He just flips until he finds something interesting. He's forever reinforcing without meaning to.

But his memory doesn't stop with history. He plays a computer game with his father where they need to accumulate items and then cash them in for a reward. So, the dad needs, say, 27 apples. He may collect them over several sessions that last a week or more. Players amass many items simultaneously. The son has 3 characters that he plays. The dad has 4 characters that he plays. Yet, the son recognizes when dad's character #2 has reached his goal of 27 apples. Dad is clueless. He has a sense that he's getting close and he'll look it up when he's finished with this session. But not son. He keeps all these trivial facts filed in a retrievable fashion in his brain.

So, how do you keep a kid capable of cataloging all kinds of information in his head? And what about the ancient among us? Are we beyond help or is there hope that we can use our brains again?

I've recently been forced to explain to my children that if they want to know how old some relative is that I need to do the math. I long ago figured out that I can remember what year a person was born because it is constant. But if I want to know their age, then I must subtract. (And that whole change of century thing adds to the complexity of the calculation.) The big 2 (9 and 7) looked at me as though I'd sprouted a second head. (Wishful thinking, if it came with an extra brain.) I guess that they haven't maxed out their retrieval functions yet.

So, since there is still room in their heads, I'll keep feeding them data that could prove valuable some day. After all, if you don't study history then you are doomed to repeat it. (Somebody must have told me that before I was 10.) No doubt they'll hit their late 30s and wonder why they know so much about knights and vikings. If they could only replace that trivia with useful information.

Nose in a Book - Q1

Ever on the lookout for a good book, I thought that you might be, too. Here's what I've read this year.

The Seekers - Kent Family Chronicles #3 - John Jakes
OK is you like that kind of thing. Historical fiction.

Charlotte Mason Education - Catherine Levison
She believed in education through living books (that means real - like from the library, not a text) and journaling. Word intensive studies and nature.

Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen
It was my first attempt with this book. I've no idea how I got this far into life and avoided it. Keep at it through the first 10 chapters. It's worth the effort.

Hold on to Your Kids: Why Parents Need to Matter More Than Peers - Gordon Neufeld
We already know that children are easily influenced by others but this is pretty scary stuff. I think that this makes a good companion to Changing Your Child's Heart by Steve Sherbondy.

Freakonomics - Steven D. Levitt
Good read. The cynical among you will enjoy this one.

The Sociopath Next Door - Martha Stout
Did you know that you know some?

The Middle Mind: Why Americans Don't Think for Themselves - Curtis White
I probably can't include this because apparently I do think for myself and chose to close the book. Perhaps it improves, but I only like rants with which I agree.

Blink: The Power of Thinking without Thinking - Malcolm Gladwell
I enjoyed the first half and finished the second half because I rarely quit a partially read book.

The Once and Future King - TH White
Definitely worth the time to read. Before I opened it, I never thought I'd make it through. It was recommended but I don't give a hoot about King Arthur or his Round Table. And 700 pages on the subject? BUT, very well written - funny and entertaining.

And then there is the children's literature.

Stuart Little - EB White
Alice's Adventures in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll
Gulliver's Stories - Dolch / Scholastic
I'm Too Fond of my Fur - Geronimo Stilton
Flat Stanley - Jeff Brown
The Railway Children - Edith Nesbit

I'll spare you the list of about 200 picture books. Yes, I actually keep a list.

Our Day in Pictures

Megan and Tim had Graham crackers with peanut butter and bananas for breakfast. Drew and Ellen had already gone to school.





Megan did her school work. This is speech. In math we worked on patterns and calendar. We're learning about action verbs in grammar. She's practicing reading 3 letter words. Today she practiced writing capital and lower case r. We're almost finished reading The Railway Children. We're learning about plants in science. We're studying the Middle Ages in history and reading The Canterbury Tales to go along with it. History is slow going this time of year because it's difficult to gather all 3 in the same place at the same time. She loves to do maps.

Tim had a check-up this afternoon. He weighs 22 lbs 13 oz and is 32.5" tall. Does it become tall instead of long once a child is vertical? He lost a few ounces but grew 2.5" in the last 3 months. I'm not worried and the doctor didn't seem concerned either. He is VERY active and he's related to me. But, I think he's my first to ever go backwards in weight. He recently became a picky eater. Even though I'm not worried, I'll be making sure he gets protein.





Tuesday is piano lessons. I took the little 2 to the library while the big 2 had their lessons. It is just the right amount of time!





Last stop, soccer. It was the first day and it took over 30 minutes to locate her field and team. There are something like 25 field with 2 teams on each. Chaotic and unorganized is an understatement. However, I'm not complaining lest I end up with the job!



We fit in a few other things, too. We did a load of laundry this morning. Tim had a nap and we ate lunch before the doctor. After the doctor we came home and had time to make bagels for snack today and breakfast tomorrow and Oriental Beef Salad for dinner. So, dinner was ready when we got home at 7:15. Ellen had a shower and I'll catch the little ones tomorrow morning. The youngest 3 are in bed and Drew is on his way momentarily.

March Tornados bring April Tornados

Early reports indicate that Sangamon county had more tornados tonight. But it seems that most people in Springfield still have their power. It looks like maybe the city was spared this time.

(Sorry about the flash reflections.)

This time, they issued a severe thunderstorm warning and within 5 minutes the tornado sirens were sounding. (This happened immediately after I posted my last entry.) It seems odd to me that there wasn't more warning because I could see the storms coming on the radar. Plus, it was 71*, steamy and windy today. It just felt like storms were coming. Anticipating a possible power outage, I had made dinner a little early. It finished cooking at exactly the same time as the sirens started. So, we set up the leaves of the dining room table on the basement floor and pretended we were at a Japanese restaurant.

The good news:

1. We have power and no damage.
2. The storms struck before bedtime.
3. We seem to be in the clear and will sleep in our beds tonight.
4. We were prepared with our emergency kit.

Mr. Metamom, (metadad?) had a birthday last week. He says that he doesn't feel any older. I finally got him a gift that he likes. It only took 19 years of gift giving to get it right. We got him an ipod with enough memory to house the Library of Congress. We also tried to recreate his favorite dish from his favorite restaurant in Saratoga. We came up with an adequate recipe for wasabi shrimp. We also grilled steaks for the first time this season.

It's that time of year again. The time where you rarely eat dinner as a family because all the kids are playing sports at dinnertime. Child #1 is playing baseball. Child #2 is playing softball. Child #3 is playing soccer. Child #4 is being dragged to these events. But one day I will require that #1, #2 and #3 attend his events.

Report cards came home this week and everyone did well. In fact, better than expected. We took them to their favorite restaurant to celebrate.

Friday was our performing arts day. I took #3 and #4 to see a traveling production of Eric Carle's The Very Hungry Caterpillar. It was really cute. Maybe the best kid's show that I've seen. Here's a link to their site.

http://www.mermaidtheatre.ns.ca

Then after #4 took a nap, we went to the recorder concert of #1. We were 2 minutes late and missed half the show. It met all our expectations of first year recorder players. I tried to take a picture but they always come out too dark in large spaces.

And finally, March tornados bring April tornado. Yep, we're under a severe thunderstorm warning for the next hour and a tornado watch until 11PM. I just finished putting our emergency kit together today. That should keep us safe!